Friday, August 17, 2018

Can't Think What Title To Give.....

Last Wednesday, I went out with my friends to watch the movie, "The Day After Valentine's".....

..........

......Sorry, Marion Aunor's song "Akala" is playing in the background while I'm writing this and it started to rain outside. The feels, man. The feels. 😅

A lot has been commenting about the lead actors' similar acting with their last movie while here I am, too focused about the story. 😆

If you haven't watched the movie yet, don't read this.

Warning: I don't mean harm or to offend anybody. I have my opinion, you have your own. But we can all talk about it in a calm and a nice way.

Medyo na-trigger lang ako sa reason ni Kai for losing his feelings towards Lani.

If he lost it just because she has opened up about her life, yung mga problema niya at mga negative na nararamdaman niya towards her family, then he must have just mistaken his feelings sa simula pa lang. Ni hindi ba siya tumulong as she's opening up to him? Basta na lang nawala ang interest niya kay Lani then ganun na lang? 😑

Kung hindi pa sila nagbakasyon ng family niya sa Pilipinas, hindi pa niya masasabi ang mga iyon noong nasa sasakyan na sila? 

Buti hindi pa sila nagkatuluyan nung makita niya ang life background ni Lani, at least hindi pa huli ang lahat. Mati-turn off lang pala siya sa ganon.😆

Sasabihang magpakatotoo tapos iiwan din sa ere kapag ginawa mo nga just because their perception of who you are are from the truth.

We all have our dark side. I have my own. Kaya medyo relate ako. Not about her family, but because I am perceived as like this, like that. But the truth is, I'm not like that. Ano raw? 😂

You get what I mean? Parang yung perception nila na "Ah, si ano? Mahinhin at mabait na bata yun." then kapag nakita nilang maingay pala yung taong yun, nababago agad ang pananaw nila and usually patungo pa sa pagka-turn off.

I was struggling about it before. Yun bang it feels like there is an image that I have to maintain, or something. Parang artista lang? Hahaha

But I realized, there's no point in doing that. No matter how hard you try to disguise yourself and pretend, lalabas at lalabas din ang totoong ikaw.

I learned to show myself more and care less about those who can't accept me for who I am.

By "showing myself" is different than what you think though. I became less bothered with that FOMO. And I showed them my world. This is my world. My own pace. Hindi ako nagpapakahirap sumabay sa trip ng mga tao ngayon. Yung trip ko lang ang sinabasabayan ko. 😁

By "showing myself" is showing less in my case. I don't talk much, and I don't have to talk more just to satisfy them. Kung wala na akong sasabihin, hindi ko pipigain ang utak ko para may masabi lang. Ano raw ulit?

Dati kasi nahihirapan akong magsalita dahil iniisip ko palagi kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin at napi-pressure ako na parang kailangan kong magsalita. But now, nahihirapan na lang akong i-translate sa English yung mga sasabihin ko. 😅

Madali rin akong masaktan before. Like bakit siya alam niya, ako hindi? Bakit ganto, bakit ganyan? I guess that's jealousy, superiority, importance (mala-VIP na meaning ) or something. But that was because I was thinking about myself. 

Pero noong maging aware ako about it and think less about myself (like sino ba ako?), slowly, I feel less hurt. Siyempre medyo may lingering feelings pa rin paminsan-minsan. I haven't mastered it yet. I am in the self-awareness stage pa lang. But yeah, I am getting there.

Slowly, I will lose me and I will be me. But the fact that I am talking about myself right now, I am still far from that...... Get it? .....

.....Ugh! I am in my weird self again.

But if you don't understand, that's fine.

In simple words, sabi nga, I am a kitchen sink. You don't know what that means, because a kitchen sink to you.....is not a kitchen sink to me. 😀

My words are getting twisted na, I must get out of here.

Just don't take everything I said here out of context. There's a deeper meaning behind it. My vocabulary is just not that extensive to express what's on my mind.

Bye now~

P.S.
I appreciate how they incorporated Baybayin in the movie, me being a subtle supporter of it. 😊

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