Sunday, November 1, 2020

Change in Blogging Schedule

As I was viewing my blog while thinking of what to post next, I realized that I have been very naughty in following my blogging schedule this year.

If I was able to post regularly, the Archive list should have at least 4 posts every month but as you can see below it only averaged at 1.5 a month and I even missed March (the start of lockdown)!

What difference does it make?

I am not sure as well. 😅

I just noticed a decrease in views when my posts were irregular.

Still not sure how this affects viewership and AdSense, and really, I have not spared any time to search and read more about blogging yet.

But maybe by putting myself on the reader's shoe, if a writer does not update regularly, at first I might still visit a few times but if I do not see any new content I might forget about it after some time and stop visiting eventually.

I was looking forward to sharing more content with you this year, hoping for more travels and new experiences I can share, but I ended up staying at home since March and have only gone out around five times since then, and those times were for the purpose of buying groceries, attending mass and one emergency.

At the start of this pandemic, when we were all forced to stay at home, I thought I could still make new content, I thought I could search and try out new stuff online.

But as I review what I have done for the past months, I realized I have been struggling to find balance with every aspect of my life.

I can only do one thing at a time.

So when I have problems or things that stress me out at work, all I can think of even during the weekend or even at night when it is time to sleep is that. Even in my dreams, it is there and after I wake up my mind keeps thinking about it.

If it is not about work, it happens to other aspects of my life.

I am always trying to find peace.

But even when everything seems to be working fine, my mind keeps thinking of the what-ifs. You know that? Like what the government is always saying: "Advance mag-isip" (advanced thinking).

So I really feel like I can't relax for a bit. 

I always think one after another. 

And when I do that, I get anxious about the future, like "Oh I have to do this and that on [insert day]."

And if I look at myself, I can see my body living in the present but my mind is in the future, and it feels like I am not really living in the present.

I remember having this kind of dilemma from before.

I remember as well that I have meditated for quite a long time to finally be able to live in the present.

And then now I am back to the same dilemma again.

I was once reminded to let tomorrow worry about itself and I keep reminding myself that after.

Sometimes it is working, but most of the time it is not.

I had to go back to my notes to remind myself of what I did to get through this before.

Right now I am also using a simple app for gratitude. It is called "Presently".

At the end of every day, I write down things that I can think of that I am grateful for.

It somehow makes me think of positive thoughts as I think through nice things that happened to me for the day.

Even if I am having a bad day, the app helps me focus more on the brighter side and makes me realize that hey, there are things that I am still grateful for.

And do you know what I always write down?

I am grateful for a peaceful day. 😆

I am very pessimistic, and when the day ends with no issues, I am very grateful for that.

It is a peaceful day indeed, only my mind is not at peace because even if there are no issues for that day, I would start thinking about the next day ahead and the cycle goes on.

How do I overcome it?

I know most of these things are all in my mind and usually, so far, it has not happened in reality, but I still worry about what if it does happen in the future?

This mind of mine thinks way more advance.

And that takes out the peace in me.

"Then stop overthinking about the future." you may say.

Well, my worry about that is what if I have not thought about the future ahead and then strikes me unprepared?

Although, as I write this, I realized that even if I think about it ahead of time I still come in unprepared, that is what I feel because there is nothing I could do but to think, worry and wait for it to happen. 😆

Ugh, I hate this part of me.

And I always feel like running away and shutting myself out from everyone when I can't take my thoughts anymore.

But anyway, I need to come back to Sadhguru's videos to help me get through this.

As for now, you may have noticed, this post was published on a Sunday. 😅

That is right.

Sunday will be my new blogging schedule.

I feel like I can give more time for my blog on Saturday and have it published on Sunday instead of rushing it on Friday evening or Saturday morning to be able to post it at 12 noon.

I am a turtle. 🐢 I really have a slow pace and I don't like it when I am rushed and pressured, because it affects my health, especially with my current condition.

I want a peaceful life where everything is in balance. (Very idealistic indeed. But who knows? I'd like to achieve my Ikigai).

So yeah, Sunday it is.

I am starting it today, and let us see if it works.

That way I can have time to think and write comfortably, not feeling rushed or anything.

Stay safe everyone! The highest signal I have yet to encounter, Super Typhoon Rolly has Signal no. 5 😱

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